My Crazy Life...

So much time has passed and all I can think is where did the summer go? I mean really.... It's September already. All I can think is I am so not ready for the journey ahead. Going to school and being a mom is a tough job. All  I know is I know its possible. I feel like I am starting over at the starting line and this is just a new race. May looks so insanely far away. Can I really do another 30 credits? That would be just enough to make it through and graduate with my associates. On top of everything I still have at least another 3 years of school. So far my favorite class is photography. Its becoming more of like an expensive obsession. I find myself stopping off to the side of the road taking pictures of a sunset or flipping on my camera to take a picture of ryker sleeping with my pajamma pants (he thinks they are a soft blanket.) I miss being home with my bubba and being able to take him to the park and play with bubbles any time I please. Is this school thing really for me? Do I really want to not be home and just work my life away? I keep running these questions through my mind and all I can come up with is what if something happens to Trent and I have to be able to support my family? Its a scary thought but in all honesty its the truth. I know all you can think is blah, blah, blah.... nI have had nightmare after nightmare for the last couple of months and I cannot get them to go away. It's starting to give me anxiety.

On the plus side I have gone down two pant sizes just from playing volleyball again and walking across campus. I have also lost a few "friends" over drama. I have became a more educated person. I have also learned so much about myself and what I can handle. I love how my life has turned out. I honestly wouldn't change the craziness for anything.